I am a true English Poet

I am a true English Poet
and I know it
because I am skint;
I live on bitter memories;
unrequited love and
lots and lots of cigs;

I am a true English Poet
all my clothes smell of smoke;
my life is like this poem,
its not funny
and it really is no joke;

I am a true English Poet
I can’t afford the finer things in life;
my only friend is my left hand
my greatest loss
my now ex-wife;

Like a seaside town in Winter
Like Sunday when all the shops are shut;
I am a true English Poet
because I can’t afford to cook;

I am lifes eternal lost sock
two went in the dryer
only one of them came out;
twenty four seven
Seven days a week
I am as welcoming to women as
mould in tiled bathroom grout;

I see lovers holding hands
kissing in the street;
the world is singing love songs;
I must be an English Poet because
none of them are for me.

© Copyright D. Archer October 2011

After a few pints I made a few subtle changes. If you have read it before well tough it’s my blog I’ll do what I want, if you haven’t read it before well tough, it’s my blog and I’ll post what I want.

2 thoughts on “I am a true English Poet

  1. Nice work fella. Id be an Oirish drinker, sorry, Poet, meself. Check out the Govspel poems at the bottom of my rants. Be good to get some constrctive critique. Keep up the good work.

    • I’m glad you live a long way away so I can say this.

      The layout of your site is spoiling the content, talent and the humour that is overflows in abundance.

      OK, I am a graphic designer, I spent hours in restaurants looking at what paper the menu is printed on rather than the food, it drove my wife nuts, she didn’t care if it was matt laminated, or the fact the pictures were not scaled properly or the colours were wrong. Bear with me.

      You have a voice! you have that enviable talent to make people want to read but I think (from a safe distance) the layout of your blog is holding you back. You need more subject pages and need to use the categories better and include some tags.

      Ok , if you are still reading you are thinking, “cheese n rice!”, (apologies but my Irish friend uses this phrase for swearing in public.) I asked him about poetry not to piss on my chips. The trouble my friend(?) is that we live in a visual world, you have no pictures of tits on your site people don’t stay long. You are pissing on your own chips with the layout of your blog. You have a relaxed easy going style of writing but I think it is not being heard, I can’t see any tags that link articles together, Drugs, drink, etc these when clicked engage the reader into similar topics / posts.

      I hope you understand what I mean. I am a graphic designer I can’t fix a plug, therefore I get an electrician.

      I want you to speak to the masses, you can hold you own in any corner of the room.

      For “Baby Jesus and the Orphans” update your about page unless you are on the run from Interpol.

      If you think I am a twat, join the queue it is very long and it is arranged alphabetically……but…..trust me (complete stranger says) you are pissing on your own chips.

      If you don’t know about layout , design, visual communication ask me and I will tell you. I want to read your blogg. I like what you have to say, I can’t be arsed to read it if the screen makes my eyes bleed!

      I know you did’t expect this but PLEASE update your layout.

      and…..your poems are shit. 🙂


      I will walk you through the update process if you think magic pixies live in the magic box and make magic pictures appear on the shiny wordy magic screen.

      Thanks for the comments. You could change the Word English To Irish, republish it under your own name and watch as the millions of pounds, fame, cebrity and womens used knickers come flooding to your door just like my life has changed over the past week!

Type something here preferably in English

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s