The Barnsley Crummicle



In order to raise some cash I have launched my own newspaper. The Barnsley Crummicle.

It will use long words and short difficult words!

It will be a quality, hourly, newspaper with hard edged, cutting, front line, dynamic reportage articles in black and white with colour photographs! It will be available to the 17 million homes in Barnsley FREE of charge for the first 17 million issues.

In future episodes I will personally tackle hard cutting edge topics such as:

  • Why do you never see baby pigeons?
  • What happened to that man who used to cross the road outside that shop that closed down two years ago?
  • Why am I so lonely?
  • What’s that smell in my fridge?

These and other topics are sure to bring the advertising flooding in, you could be on the ground floor. Why not advertise your unwanted wedding presents or grandparents in the next exciting, hard, cutting edged edition of The Barnsley Crummicle.

Words but not the photograph © D. Archer. November 2015

2 thoughts on “The Barnsley Crummicle

  1. If you are likely to be on the ground floor when the advertising comes flooding in, I recommend using one of these terrific T-shirts as a sandbag. Fill it with Morrison’s smart price muesli, just like traditional sawdust. Don’t worry, it won’t float away.

Type something here preferably in English

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