In order to raise some cash I have gone into Star Wars merchandising and have invented this handy All-In-One artists tool that will instantly help you draw just like Ralph McQuarrie.
No more art classes!
No more life studies!
Just pick up and draw!
If you’ve ever dreamed of becoming a famous concept artist then this is the tool for you.If you’ve ever dreamed of impressing random strangers in shops then this is the tool for you.If you’ve ever dreamed about that man or woman that spurned your romantic advances seven years ago then this is the tool for you.
Each “Star Wars Wonder Drawing Sabre Extreme” is glued together with love and rainbows* (actually asbestos and anthrax) and comes with its own paper* (asbestos) bag.
It weighs ONLY 19.5kg and can be used by children* (Not recommended for children).
Simply “Stab” the tool into the palm of your hand and away you go, the special coating of artist “Rust” will seep into your blood stream and you can just think drawings onto the page.
Due to a slight production error only 17 million of these tools will be produced and it is strictly available on a first come first disappointed basis.
Available from “Chest Infections Direct”; your one stop shop for bulk phlegm!
Words and Pictures © D. Archer. December 2015.