Scatalogue

Here are some leftovers from my Instagram account. Regretably everything is of my own creation. Don’t steal, it’s not nice. Stuff ranges from new books I’m working on to the plight of the lonely idiot, a homage to Ronald Searle, a picture of a cat and the album of my alter ego “Roy Morbidson” where I play 96 hours of my own melancholic solo Jazz tambourine compositions.

© D. Archer. July 2017

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Camera findings

A few images from my troubled walks with my camera. The frost, rain and the fog were from this morning; the weather is very changeable here in Yorkshire.

© D. Archer. July 2017

New Children’s Books

Morose Poetry_IMG_4023Morose_MonopolyIMG_4058I have been working on a number of children’s books lately and have sent them off to 17 million publishers around the world, five of them have been sent back in flames and two of them were just doused in bodily fluids of unnamed origin.

© D. Archer. July 2017

It’s been a while

Boobs_IMG_3626Physical interaction is hard to come by these days so I have resorted to touching boobs in books in Public Libraries, I am so ashamed of the print quality.
©D.Archer July 2017 (the words and finger, not the picture)

New Book out Soon

YakMilking_Cover

Yak Milking for Fun and Profit

Have you ever wanted to Milk a Yak for fun and profit? I know have, so I wrote this book to help with my mental disorder.
The book is 1,497 pages long, has 9 photographs (4 of them are in focus) and 2 drawings which shouldn’t be show to anyone under 21.

©D.ARCHER. JULY 2017

I’m not dead (physically)

Tree of Hope, Locke Park, Barnsley.

It’s been a while but due to the useless shenaningans on Instagram I’ve decided to post loads of my recent crap doodles back up on here. Apologies in advance if i’ve posted stuff before but think yourself lucky I can be bothered at all.
Enjoy, or don’t, I’m not fussed. Everything listed is mine, mine, mine I tell you!! Steal it and I will find you and bore you to death with stories of coal mining in Yorkshire.

© D. Archer. July 2017

The Ballad of Henry Hughes

There once was a girl
from north of the border
who sent me money by postal order
and though I couldn’t wash her pans or pots,
touch her blankets or door knobs,
she touched my life from miles away
and I miss her
like it was yesterday.

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© D. Archer. January 2016

New Children’s Book

mr-morose

Well it’s been a while but finally my autobiographical children’s book is ready for the printers. I’ve been waiting over a year for the reviews to come in but I think it was worth the wait. A limited edition of 17 million individually signed copies will be in the shops next Tuesday. By the way my wrist hasn’t hurt this much since I watched Nigella Lawson bending over to put her turkey in the oven.

©D. Archer. December 2016

PS: Apologies to Mr Hargreaves, I loved his books when I was a kid. Loved the original cartoon series as well, Arthur Lowe was the voice for my generation.

Indoor Photographs

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I took this when it was raining which is quite often in Yorkshire, a small secondhand soapstone carved head that watches over me.

© D. Archer. November 2016