“Regrets, unlike wine, do not get better with age”

I read this somewhere, or imagined I read this somewhere and it stays with me. I have pockets of randomness that need to come out over time. I’m not really a blogger “per se”, I write mainly “poetry” as I’m not sure anybody is really interested in the state of my toaster crumb tray or how I can never really remember where I put my keys or how this affects the universe and why I should be looking for someone that doesn’t want to be found.

I’d better calm down now as that was almost a paragraph worth of randomness. Normal service will be resumed shortly.


Honesty Personified

This is not a poem. Relax.

My 11 year old daughter has just put her arms around my neck and told me “It is so nice just to see you happy again”

I can’t see they keyboard.

After seventeen years of numbing, soul-destroying depression, losing everything and everyone I have ever loved, ignoring those that loved me even in my darkest, selfish hours these words mean more to me than anything I have ever written. I could stop writing now and be at last happy.

I hope you understand my blubbering and I hope you never have to suffer as much as I have. If you love anyone in your life please go and tell them now. Now.

Read this I get a click

You are reading my blogg
I am not reading yours;
it is full of difficult words like
“like”, “if”, “and”,”but” and “or”;

To be honest I was bored
after three lines
maybe I’ll read it tomorrow
look; trust me,
if I wanted a laugh
I would look at myself
in the mirror.

© Copyright D. Archer October 2011

Cabbage! Cat! Underpants! Lampshade!

I can write
whatever I like
I am in the top left box
featured on WordPress’
Poetry Page;


I am atop the top bananas
bask you mortals in my lofty reflection
I have achieved poetic Nirvana;
poetry personified in four lines of perfection!


Read them and weep
my gigantic pontifications
knows not of earthly bounds;

Read them!
Bleed them!
For I
am the true voice
of all poetry

Calm down, its only a box.

© Copyright D. Archer October 2011

You know you want to. You know your desire burns inside you every time you post. We prostitute ourselves to the little box top left of the Featured Poetry Page. If you do not get this poem, you do not get me. Please un-subscribe.

How to write words in random rhyme

How do I write words
in random rhyme?
I take the lid off my pen,
have a fag, sit down,
and try.

At first it is a complete
bag of washing;
but after ten thousand edits
if it still makes me cry,
I blogg it and hope
the page counter will rise.

© Copyright D.Archer October 2011 

Counter productive

I willed the counter
to hit one hundred
but secretly I wanted
one more than five;
a comment, a like,
a smiley face
just to validate my strife.

Realising I was addicted
to watching the numbers climb
when I forgot to eat
my dinner earlier on
and it was a lovely Shepherd’s pie.

My dinner disposed of
the counter didn’t move
I consoled myself
with some cream crackers
atop a cold bowl of soup.

Blogging can seriously affect your weight. Remember to eat.
Cigarettes contain no vitamins which is a shame because I have smoked two hundred in the last three days.

© Copyright D. Archer October 2011 

Bad Haiku

I am blogging
like it is the end of the world
pointless really.

I know this is not a Haiku before you jump down my throat. I posted it on my facebook page as a comment, must try and write some real ones.

© Copyright D. Archer October 2011