I’m not dead (physically)

Tree of Hope, Locke Park, Barnsley.

It’s been a while but due to the useless shenaningans on Instagram I’ve decided to post loads of my recent crap doodles back up on here. Apologies in advance if i’ve posted stuff before but think yourself lucky I can be bothered at all.
Enjoy, or don’t, I’m not fussed. Everything listed is mine, mine, mine I tell you!! Steal it and I will find you and bore you to death with stories of coal mining in Yorkshire.

© D. Archer. July 2017

Autumn in Yorkshire

Somewhere between losing my mind and finding myself I often am to be found wandering aimlessly around my local park. Not a lot of other humans to interrupt the solitude which is always a bonus.

All pictures are worthless but they are mine. © D. Archer. November 2016.

Winter Wanderings

Once again I have been lucky enough to spend some time in Scotland over the New Year and attached are just a few of the (in focus) photos that I have deemed worthy of sharing.

Even for a colour blind, ham fisted, amateur half wit photographer like myself taking photographs in Scotland is really like shooting fish in a barrel (apologies to all you vegetarians) but you put your camera on auto, point at stunning landscape and press shutter. Bingo Bongo Bob’s your auntie!

Words and Pictures © D. Archer. January 2016.

Winter Wanderings

Whooooaaa! Hold your horses, you haven’t missed the apocalypse, these pictures are from my morning walk around my home town.

I’m lucky that the walk between my home and that of my mother takes me through a wooded area that is more interesting on deserted days like today than when it is swarming with humans.

I particularly like the ones where nature has started to reclaim the man made objects, the Lichen on the the litter bin and the way the tree has grown around the barbed wire.

I must admit to being a bit of a loner and the sense of emptiness and the forlorn has always held a particular fascination for me. Today with the poor light and sense of overcast weather is my type of day.

Mmmmmmmm……bland.

Words and Pictures © D. Archer. December 2015

Abstracts

I’ve re-connected with my interest in abstract art. These are acrylics on canvas. The Midnight Trees has an under painting done in masking fluid and so it catches the light from various angles, quite unintentional I assure you.

Words and dodgy photographs © D. Archer . December 2015.

Another day closer to death

I am currently lamenting the loss of my beloved Cannon Camera. These were taken on my phone from my recent travels, they are a combination of Yorkshire Sculpture Park, Scotland, Northern College and Locke Park which is in tarn near weir are live (he says; adopting local lumpen pole dialect).

I have tried to capture just how bad I am at photography in every single shot and I am quite pleased to report that I have exceeded my expectations yet again.

If I could be bothered I would upload more but I can’t so I won’t. Now if you will excuse me I have lots of things to do such as washing my lightbulbs, combing my bathroom carpet for Silverfish, organising the ice in my freezer, alphabetizing the dust on my stereo, answering the door at random intervals and lots less besides.

I don’t have all day to sit around waiting to validate my existence by the number of likes I get from random strangers who have nothing better to do than trawl around WordPress when they should be out doing more interesting things with their lives. Shame on you people.

Now, where did I put my life?

Mrs Robinson

Much like conversations with shopkeepers and old people
I skilfully avoid the coil of dog shit on the cinder path
as the arse crack showing cyclist
swept passed me like my youth,
all his cares de-frosting in a bag for life
low slung from the handlebars;
dangerously close to one wheel;
translucent to the light.

His reckless rolling scattered the complaining birds
from the car driven to ashes
and the weeds and wildflowers
the names of which I never learned in school
but whose smell dragged me back
to where I found your candid Polaroid
that I kept and hid in my room.

© D. Archer. June 2015.

(The names have been invented to make me sound vaguely interesting).

Yorkshire Sculpture Park

OK not as many photos as I would I have liked from Yorkshire Sculpture park but in fact the place was crawling with humans of all shapes and sizes creeping into every bloody shot. I got fed up in the end and to cap it all had an argument with a “yoof” who thought it was perfectly OK to climb on the sculptures in order for his girlfriend to capture his idiocy in technicolour for their FACETWAT page.

I have visited YSP on many occasions in all types of weather with friends and family and the place never ceases to amaze me. It’s shame this visit was tainted by the lack of respect shown to the sculptures but I’m sure they will be around a lot longer than the idiot who crossed my path.

© D. Archer . April 2015.

More camera crimes

Ho Ho Ho, it’s a good job the Scottish Tourist Information Board doesn’t know where I live, posting all these terrible photos of their stunning scenery. You as well dear reader will be glad to know that of the 89,878 photos that I took, these are the least mediocre.

Camera crimes © D. Archer, April 20015.

Insert witty title here…

Once again I have managed to reduce the immense natural beauty of the Scottish landscape down to a few blurred, badly composed and cropped calamities. Trust me, this place is much more stunning than my fat fingered fotographs could ever convey. Taken this April in the most pleasant walking weather one could wish for.

Landscapes © Deity of your choice. Happy Crappy Croppings © D. Archer, April 2015.