Like Larkin

I’m often prone to outbursts of poetry. I really should learn how to write it.  

  Lost in translation. 

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New Book out Soon

YakMilking_Cover

Yak Milking for Fun and Profit

Have you ever wanted to Milk a Yak for fun and profit? I know have, so I wrote this book to help with my mental disorder.
The book is 1,497 pages long, has 9 photographs (4 of them are in focus) and 2 drawings which shouldn’t be show to anyone under 21.

©D.ARCHER. JULY 2017

The Ballad of Henry Hughes

There once was a girl
from north of the border
who sent me money by postal order
and though I couldn’t wash her pans or pots,
touch her blankets or door knobs,
she touched my life from miles away
and I miss her
like it was yesterday.

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© D. Archer. January 2016

New Children’s Book

mr-morose

Well it’s been a while but finally my autobiographical children’s book is ready for the printers. I’ve been waiting over a year for the reviews to come in but I think it was worth the wait. A limited edition of 17 million individually signed copies will be in the shops next Tuesday. By the way my wrist hasn’t hurt this much since I watched Nigella Lawson bending over to put her turkey in the oven.

©D. Archer. December 2016

PS: Apologies to Mr Hargreaves, I loved his books when I was a kid. Loved the original cartoon series as well, Arthur Lowe was the voice for my generation.

Sketchbook

Has it always been like this?
inside this low, living headache
where everyone is closed or taken;
where the pressure is blinding
and the quiet assumptions are the worst.

The mirror lies,
I’m not the only one in this room
as the argument begins
“What lies beneath my ink stained skin?”

To do or not to do?

Tomorrow I will alphabetise the dust on my desk,
eat only food that begins with an ‘F’,
write the novel I haven’t started and
plant plastic vegetables in my imaginary garden;
I’ll create a spreadsheet of all my lost socks
and hold my breath as I stare at the clock,
tomorrow I will stop procrastinating
as soon as I’ve finished the list I’m making.

© D. Archer. October 2015. No humour intended.

Anonymous

Love lies in the roughest sea,
in the smallest hours,
in a one oared boat,
not in the anonymous promises
of those that lure in calm waters
as sirens circle in the undertow;
soon the unwinding begins
the rope that proffers salvation
forms a seductive silk noose around your neck
and be it by category or allegory
the search for your lungs in another
will only one day leave you
out of breath.

© D. Archer. January 2013. Tweaked in February 2015.